Beyond the Bright Forevers
by thesearemywords
Summary: There's a You deal with all the daily crap, the hardship and all that heartbreak, and in return, you get a happy But times are changing, and everything, that bright forever you're promised, is crumbling down around us, and all we can do is hold on and do the best with what we've S/M J/L R/M A/F P/N The real story of the First
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Hi Guys! This is a story that has been circulating my mind for a LONG time, and I am so glad to finally be able to get it out and down on paper! I plan on updating once a week, but I make no promises. Anyway, please review! I always review back! Thank you so much for reading!

I own nothing but the plot.

Dorcas Meadowes was one of those girls. She was perfect, a whirl of blonde hair, delicate features, icy blue eyes, the figure of a dancer, and freckles that made her look more like a Irish milk maid than a cold hearted bitch. She ruled Hogwarts from the day she set foot in it, following in the legacy of her perfect brothers and building upon the Meadowes empire. Her position of Queen of Hogwarts was rivaled only by Marlene McKinnon, who was Dorcas' sworn rival and the only girl who could really contend with Dorcas for the most beautiful girl in school.

And Dorcas was sweet enough to let me tag along. We met on the train to Hogwarts, virginal little eleven year olds, fragile in a state of mild panic and nerves. I became her loyal sidekick, the perfect image of a deputy with dark brown hair that hung limply around my shoulders, wide, too innocent brown eyes, and round cheeks that were stuck in a permanent shade of blush. She was the beauty of the operation, with brains to match. I was the laughter, the humor that kept her feeling good about herself and that kept me from growing disillusioned with our relationship. We were a match made in heaven, two girls destined to spend our lives side by side, as best friends, maids of honor, godmothers and confidants.

There were signs that our relationship was ill fated. On that fateful day September 1st, when I was sorted into the Gryffindor House and Dorcas was sent to Ravenclaw, her family's house. Dorcas managed to set my shortcomings aside, but not until after a fight in the Great Hall that resulted in her crying and me painted as the enemy.

We spent six years together. She was the beautiful, smart one with the ability to flirt and charm her way into anything, and me, the funny one with a chip on her shoulder from her background and a remarkable ablility to do everything incorrectly. I ignored my housemates, spending every waking hour with Dorcas and her merry band of Ravenclaw followers. I struggled through my classes with Gryffindors and the Slytherins, hanging on the outside and waiting for the moment when I could be reunited with my friends in blue.

Dorcas managed to outstrip me in just about every category. She had perfect grades, while mine were lackluster at best, only shining in DADA and oddly enough, History of Magic. She had the tall, slim body of my mother, the one my mother chided and hounded me about, dissatisfied with my own curvy petite form. Dorcas was well behaved, charming, beautifully mannered, and sweet. I was loud, sarcastic, stubborn, and had ill timing. She dressed like a princess, wearing soft pastels and well cut clothing that was exactly what my mother wished I wore. I preferred darker colors, and reveled in a thick sweater and coat rather than a frilly dress.

In Dorcas' mind, I was always going to be below her. The Meadowes are a centuries hold Pureblooded family known for their hand in the establishment of the Internaitonal Conferedation of Wizards and their tendency to be sorted in Ravenclaw. My mother was the youngest child of Lord and Lady Everett, and was a prominent socialite in London. My father, John Rupert MacDonald III, is the son of a mason, but made enough in the stock market to woo an Everett. Despite my presitigous familial roots, I am a Muggleborn.

But when push came to shove, one thing kept me sane. I told myself that I was different from Dorcas, that I was more alive. I made mistakes, I screwed up, and I had the ability to laugh at myself. That was what made me different. At least that was what I told myself.

On January 12th, 1977, Benjy Fenwick, the, gangly 7th Ravenclaw Keeper asked me to be his girlfriend. After getting over my initial shock and the awkward snogging session that ensued, I said yes and went running straight to Dorcas. Dorcas had been taunting me about my inexperience and awkwardness around boys for years, flaunting her committed relationship with Amos Diggory. I thought she would be pleased that I had managed to land a popular, cute boy who actually seemed to like me. She acted strangely, something I never understood until one day in late May, when I saw her and Benjy shagging in one of the spare rooms of the library.

That was how I ended up here, after a long day of crying, burning various objects that Dorcas had given me over the years, and eating an enormous tub of ice cream by myself, sitting in one of those alcoves on the 4th floor. I had been coming here for years late at night; it reassured me. I glanced at my watch- it was already two in the morning. I rose from my seat on the window, but I paused when I heard something that sounded like footprints. I rolled my eyes; Filch was prone to coming over to this side of the castle around this time. I should have guessed. I peered out form around the corner, expecting to see Filch and his bloody cat.

Instead, Mulciber lumbered out of the shadows. I winced, praying he wouldn't notice me. He paused for a split second barely a foot away from where I was hiding, pressed up against the walls. I shivered, edging as far back as I come. Mulciber was dangerous; I was pretty sure that he was a member of You Know Who's little schoolboy ring like his father, and he was a potent combination of physically and mentally strong. He continued on his path, leaving a stench of Firewhisky in his wake. I relaxed, my muscles going loose. I crept forward, out of the shadows, my wand out, ready to head back to my dormitory.

Suddenly, my wand flew out of my hand and zoomed behind me, and I whirled around. Mulciber was grinning darkly at me, twirling my delicate wand between his fingers.

"Thought I saw someone, lurking in the shadows. Imagine my luck when I realized it was Mary bloody MacDonald." He grinned evilly, and I turned and started to sprint, skidding down the corridor. I knew it was coming before it even hit me, and I dropped to the marble floor with a thud as a red light hit me square in the back.

There is pain. And then there is Crucio. It is like having every single bone and muscle in your entire body on fire, with someone taking nails and stabbing them into you, and then multiply all of that times one hundred. I thought I was going to die. After a while, you feel like all the air has been sucked right out of the room and out of your chest, and I felt like my lungs would burst. An eternity later, you think your brain is going to implode sending shards of skull skittering across the room. And finally, you beg with everything you've got for death to come and steal you away.

And then, just as suddenly as it started, its gone, and I'm just Mary, lying on the floor, gasping for breath and trying to ignore the heavy tracks of tears that swell down my cheeks.

"MacDonald, do you know what you are?" He thunders over me, pointing my wand directly at my chest. I lie there, unable to speak even if I wanted too.

"I said, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?" he screams, more red light streaming out of his wand and towards my heaving chest. I let out a blood-curdling screech, writhing on the floor. It was so much worse this time. All that talk about needing to mean it is true.

"You're a dirty little Mudblood. You're nothing, Macdonald. You're trash nad you don't belong here." He struck again, and thankfully, I passed out. He revived me, and let me catch my breath. I remember thinking, he wants me to feel it.

"That's right, A BLOODY MUDBLOOD. Do you know what its like explaining to your parents why a stupid little Mudblood who stole her magic is BEATING ME IN CLASSES?" I whimpered, and he did it again. I arched my back, feeling like I was literally going to explode.

"So when I heard that his precious little mudblood is prone to late night wanderings, I decided to find you for myself and kill you myself. But you know what's really the funny thing, Mary? What really bloody kills me?" he was crouching down next to me, his sickly sweet breath tickling my cheek. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to imagine something better, a safe place.

"You may be Mudblood trash, but you're…." he trailed off, and I braced myself for another Crucio. Instead I felt his sweaty palm on my upper thigh, where my uniform had ridden up. His fingers were creeping up and up and up, and I couldn't move to defend myself; it was taking all of my effort to keep breathing. As he shifted to move on top of me, I felt every drop of fight, the stuff that I prided myself on, leave my body. I was just a shell of a person, preparing for death. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I felt him press up against me. It wasn't supposed to be like this kept running through my head on an endless loop.

"Stupefy!" A man's voice screamed from a few feet away. Mulciber's body was lifted off of me and sent flying across the room. I let a wracking sob escape my chest and I struggled to sit up. But all I could see was blood, blood surrounding me, blood on me, blood seeping out across the floors. And then, all I could see was black.

Every single bone, muscle and fiber of my body felt like it was on fire. I wanted to scream out in pain, but my lips were too parched to even move them, and it feels like I don't even have the energy to whisper, much less scream. My eyes feel dusty and stiff, like opening them would be like carving stone. It helps to focus on the sounds around me; that involves no effort or movement on my part.

"A broken spine, two broken legs, a punctured lung, severe damage to the liver, both shoulders dislocated, a majority of her ribs are broken, some are in literal shards, not to mention that being under that curse for as long as we believe she was can cause severe brain damage. She's too delicate to be moved, so St. Mungo's has sent in a team. Headmaster, Minerva made it quite clear that Mr. Black was allowed to remain here in the hospital wing, but its been a fortnight; don't you think he had better get back to school?"

"Poppy, I understand that you are concerned for Mr. Black, but I believe that his place is here. Yes, it is most definitely here, with Miss MacDonald. Now, I believe Miss Macdonald is coming too, and I am sure she is in need of several of your speciality brews."

I opened my eyes in one single wrenching movement, staring wildly around at my surroundings. I was in the hospital wing, which was completely dark. It was clearly very late at night. Dumbledore was leaning over me, his eyes twinkling brightly. I blinked stupidly back up at him. A few moments later, Madame Pomfrey came bustling back over with several potions, shoving them down my throat. I almost threw up from the taste, but I felt instantly better.

"Now, Miss MacDonald, these potions will allievate any residual pain you might be feeling. Unfortunately, I need you to remain awake for the next few hours to ensure that you do not have any residual brain trauma. These potions have several strong dosages of caffeine. Now, is anything particularly bother-"

"She's awake? Why didn't you wake me up?" I tried to stifle my surprise when I saw Sirius Black's irate face poke around my bed curtains. He dropped down into the chair next to my bedside, glaring at Madame Pomfrey.

"Mr. Black, I believe that Madame Pomfrey was about to do just that. Now, Poppy, you have been up for quite a while. I am sure that Mr. Black would be more than happy to look after Miss MacDonald tonight while you get some much deserved rest, and wake you up if anything goes awry. Now, I bid you all adieu. Miss MacDonald, I will be along tomorrow morning to discuss matters with you." with that bizarre speech, he swept out of the hospital wing. Madame Pomfrey looked like she wanted to protest, but was too exhausted to bother.

"Fine. But Mr. Black, if I find you have laid another figure on our other patient, I will personally bring it to the attention of the Headmaster, as well as Professor McGonagall. Please, for the love of Merlin, behave yourselves." She also exited towards her office after locking the doors.

What the hell was going on? What was I doing in the hospital wing, why was Sirius Black still here, and why was Dumbledore acting like I was some sort of underground operative?

"Right, so, would you mind explaining how I ended up here?" I asked, turning toward Sirius. He paled slightly, his handsome face looking gaunt. We had never really been close; in fact, that was an understatement. We had been partners in Potions once in the 3rd year, and we occasionally said hello in the corridor. That was it.

"You don't remember? Well, I was the one that brought you here, you were on the fourth floor. It was late, probably 3 or 4 in the morning." He asked quietly, shifting in his chair. I paused for a moment, staring down at my interlaced hands. It was blank for one moment, and then everything came rushing back, hitting me over the head.

Dorcas and Benjy.

Mulciber.

Crucio.

And…

I shuddered, trying not to think about the last thing. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I pushed them down. I did not cry in front of other people. It was something I prided myself on, and I wasn't about to start in front of the hottest boy in school. I needed to know, though. I wanted to know just how serious….

"Sirius? He didn't…" I trailed off, the tears coming back with an astonishing vengeance. He looked away again, his face hard.

"No. And he won't." He glanced toward the bed down at the other end of the hospital wing.

"I hope you did some damage." I muttered as I followed his line of sight. He grinned.

"Oh, trust me. We did." He grinned again to himself. The Marauders taking down Mulciber was a sight I would have loved to see.

"How bad was I, when I came in? Or I suppose, when you brought me in?" I asked after a few moments.

"Pretty bad. You were just lying there, with him- in a pool of blood. I just scooped you up and ran for my life. Pomfrey had to call in St. Mungos, she was freaking out, practically having a panic attack. They couldn't move you, so they set up shop here for a bit and did everything. You had to undergo surgery for your broken spine, and they had to use a bit of donor lung to regrow one of yours. It wasn't pretty…" he trailed off, staring down at his hands again.

"Have my parents been here yet?" I asked, hoping for a different answer than the one I knew I was about to receive.

"Er, no. I've been here the whole time. They're Muggle's though, so I expect that's normal- I mean, it would be quite difficult to organize the logistics…" his voice faded away. I glanced down at my hands, trying to forget the fact that my parents hadn't come to visit while I lay on my practical death bed.

"Meadowes and Fenwick have been by, though." He added, his voice getting hard.

"You're joking." I said flatly, imagining a smug looking Dorcas and a grinning Fenwick hovering over my bedside trying to be respectful, gleeful in their secret.

"Do me a favor- if they ever come in here, and I'm asleep and you're still here, wake me up. And make sure my wand is nearby. I'm going to hex those fuckers from here to Wales." I muttered furiously.

"What happened?" he asked with a chuckle. I stared at him; for some bizarre reason, I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell this weird, hugely popular guy who had been stationed at my bedside for the past four days my deepest darkest secret. Well, one of them.

"I found them shagging in the library the day… all of this happened. Dorcas had asked me to meet her there to study for bloody charms- she wanted me to find them, little bint. That's why I was out so late; I was furious. Being out late at night seems to help calm my nerves." I trailed off quietly, avoiding his eyes. The last thing I was wanted to see was pity.

"What were you doing out so late?" I asked, in an effort to change the topic of conversation. He looked away quickly, his eyes darting out the window towards the Whomping Willow. The stormy grey clouded over with something that looked quite a bit like regret.

"Something surprisingly similar to your own predicament." He said darkly.

" Did Potter sleep with your latest flavor of the month, then?" I quipped brightly, grinning widely when I saw a shadow of humor pass over his face. He looked right back at me.

"You've hit the nail right on the head. I've been sleeping with Lily Evans, and Prongs finally discovered me."

It wasn't even that funny; but the two of us dissolved into a mess of laughter. The image of Sirius Black having it off with the prissy and prim Lily Evans was too much for me. I was just imagining them crawling out of a broom closet when I felt Sirius' hand on my knee. I turned towards him, almost in slow motion, examining myself as I went. I was sitting cross-legged in my hospital bed, dressed in what appeared to be my favorite pair of pajamas. My blanket that had been a permanent mainstay on my four-poster bed for all six years, the one that had been a gift from my nanny, was folded up neatly at the foot of my bed.

My schoolbooks were piled on the bedside table, with a neat list of assignments anchoring the pile.

"Lily brought them by." He said softly, following my eyes. I nodded weakly, thinking of the numerous times one of my dorm mates had been laid up in the hospital wing suffering from one of the various afflictions that seem to be quite popular at Hogwarts, and I had never lifted a finger to help them.

"I think Alice brought your blanket down and Marley's started a verbal assault against Mulciber. Hasn't had a single visitor." Sirius said again. I avoided his scrutinizing stare.

"Not even ole' Snivelley?" I asked in a feeble attempt at humor. I almost choked on my own tongue when I saw the look come over Sirius' face. I remembered in a faint sense of panic the tension that had stirred the castle into a frothing pot of gossip about the Marauders for weeks. Sirius had apparently been cut out of the group, and it was believed that Severus Snape had something to with it. But things must have gone back to normal, I reassured myself. He had mentioned his little merry band just moments ago.

"Sorry." I muttered under my breath, my eyes fixated on the opposite walls. I watched him shrug the depressed look off his face out of the corner of my eye.

"You really picked the best time to get attacked, Macdonald. You've completely missed exams, and I heard Minnie say that you were excused due to your condition." He said lightly.

"Thank Merlin. I was most definitely going to flunk a majority of my subjects." I grinned back, relieved that the tension had disappeared from the room. I checked my watch; it was already six thirty in the morning.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Hmmm…" He murmured in reply, his eyes suddenly heavy with sleep.

"Why are you still here? We're not friends, I've ignored all of your mates for years. You don't owe me anything, but you've stayed in the hospital wing with me for the whole time I've been here, and you've convinced Dumbledore that you should be here. Why?" I said breathlessly, encouraged by the fact that it really couldn't get much worse or awkward than this. I stared at him, waiting for him to speak.

"Ah, Miss Macdonald! Mr. Black! I see you two have managed to keep each other awake! Now, Miss MacDonald, once we have concluded our little discussion, you can get some much-needed rest. You as well, Mr. Black. Now, Mr. Black, would you mind terribly waiting out in the hall?" Dumbledore interrupted, appearing out of what seemed like thin air, his blue eyes twinkling so merrily it was almost blinding. Sirius threw me an awkward look that I didn't really understand, and exited the hospital wing.

"Now, Miss MacDonald, I have numerous things to discuss with you, but let us address the most pressing issue first; your attacker. Mr. Mulciber has been expelled, and will be moved from the hospital wing as soon as possible. I regret very much that you are being forced to share a room with him, but whoever harmed Mr. Mulciber so thoroughly has ensured that he cannot be moved until after the school year ends. The school's lawyer's have already filed a case, and the trial has been scheduled for three weeks from today. Miss MacDonald, I wish you to know that I fully believe that Mr. Mulciber will be found guilty and sent to Azkaban. As I suspect Mr. Black has already informed you, you are excused from exams as they all passed while you were unconscious. This evening is the End of Term Feast, and I have already spoken with Madame Pomfrey, and you will be dismissed from the hospital wing after this conversation is over. She suggests that you take your free day to catch up on your sleep, and perhaps pack." He said brightly from his perch on the bed next to mine, the place Sirius had just vacated. I nodded vigorously, practically drooling from the prospect getting out the hospital wing and sleeping in my own very comfortable bed. I watched him sweep out of the room.

"Wait! Professor!" I called when he was nearing the door. He turned back and smiled warmly at me.

"How did Sirius take his exams?" I asked foolishly. Dumbledore smiled widely at me.

"He refused to leave your bedside and offered to take zeros on all of them. Of course, Professor McGonagall then offered to proctor them at your bedside. Miss MacDonald, Mr. Black hasn't left your bedside since you arrived here two weeks ago."

And with that, Dumbledore swept out of the room, leaving me stunned and with plenty to think about.


	2. Chapter 2

I felt significantly better after a long nap in my own bed. I woke up a few hours before the end of term feast, groaning inwardly about the packing I needed to do and trying valiantly to ignore the whole Sirius Black situation that was occupying my brain.

About an hour and a half into my halfhearted packing attempts and a final arrival at the idea that Sirius had remained at my bedside out of pity, my dorm mates interrupted me.

I had essentially ignored Marlene McKinnon, Alice Fortescue, Lily Evans and Honoria Sylvester for six years. We had the occasional conversation before bed, Marlene and Honoria would ask me for confirmation of particularly juicy gossip that involved either a Ravenclaw or Dorcas, but that was essentially it. Marlene, Alice and Lily were best friends, an unholy trinity. Honoria, a Mediterranean beauty with several siblings that were considered much better than she, was a gossipy idiot who seemed to have ended up in Gryffindor by pure familial ties, and preferred to spend her time with her numerous boyfriends and idiotic band Hufflepuff followers.

Marlene was Dorcas' sworn enemy, the only girl that presented any threat to Dorcas' carefully constructed world. Marlene was beautiful in an exotic way, with a full head of tight, spiral curls the color of honey that framed her face, with lightly tan skin, high cheekbones, a perfect nose, and eyes the color of evergreen trees. She was tall and slender, with the poise of a model. I had always liked Marlene; she was loud, funny, and totally unapologetic in her relentless interest in gossip. She had also been in a committed relationship with Remus Lupin for two years, and there had never been so much as a whisper about her cheating, and considering recent events, that made her extremely likeable to me. Her mother was the famous Celestina Warbeck, known for her singing and her peculiar habit of all five of her children with names starting with M, and giving them all the last name of McKinnon, despite the fact that they were all from different fathers, none of whom had the last name of McKinnon.

Lily Evans has tried very, very hard for the first few years to befriend me. I had always thought it was because she simply perceived me as someone similar to her, not because she felt sorry for me or because she had a lack of friends. Lily is the smartest witch I had ever known, with straight O's and a gift for being a genius who people don't despise. Lily's my example of perfect. She's stunning with flaming red hair, emerald eyes and darling little freckles, a perfect student, an excellent mate, very clean and organized, a compassionate prefect, and has one fault that makes her human; her deep, unreasonable hatred for James Potter.

Alice Fortescue is the one person I am mildly frightened of at Hogwarts. She is fearsome, despite her appearance. Alice looked perfectly friendly- downright angelic. A timeless bob framed her round face, complete with dimples, and her warm light brown eyes looked like melted pools of chocolate. She was the meanest, most sarcastic person I had ever come across. I had always believed it was because of her background, a story that everyone knew. Alice's mother had been a heavy user of Manticore hash, and when Alice and her twin brother, Florean were seven, had proceeded to kill herself in front of her two children. Their father, a Muggle who had abandoned them shortly after finding out that his young wife was not only a heavy drug addict, but also a witch, was forced to come back to his children and despised them for it. After he abandoned them in their Chelsea apartment when the twins were ten, they were shuttled around from relative to relative until Alice convinced a senile aunt to sign over her trust fund when she was fourteen. They spent their summer vacations taking wild trips around the world with their gallons of money and hiding from relatives and members of the Social Work Department at the Ministry. Despite this, Alice was really a softie at heart. She claims to hate everyone, but she deeply loves her brother, Florean, who was a massive screw up who had been forced to repeat fourth year, Marlene, and Lily. She's also in a committed relationship with the one person who makes her pleasant; Frank Longbottom. Frank was the Head Boy last year, and is in training at the Auror Academy. She tolerates me based purely on my ability to get right under Dorcas' skin.

Lily, Alice and Marlene stood in the doorway awkwardly, staring down at me. I was sprawled out on the floor, piles of books, clothes and candy wrappers around me. I grinned awkwardly back at them, a gesture that was returned.

"Er… Thanks for bringing all my assignments to the hospital wing, Lily." I mutter while staring at the floor.

"Oh you are so welcome, Mary!" Lily said enthusiastically, her eyes lighting up at the subject of homework. I groaned inwardly, praying that Lily wouldn't want to talk about exams.

"Lils, I highly doubt Mary really wants to discuss _books._" Marlene said loudly, throwing herself down on Lily's bed. Alice folded her arms and sat down primly next to Marlene.

"Er…" I said uncomfortably, glancing back and forth.

"Right, so, Mary, what is the deal with you and Black? He's been holed up in the hospital wing for weeks with you, refusing to come to class. McGonagall sent a letter to his bloody mum, who everyone knows he hates, and she sent back about a million Howlers. Of course, he wasn't there, but the rest of the boys heard it. And you know that they are in a huge fight over something to do with Snivell- Snape. But after hearing the Howlers, all was forgiven. The next day, Mulciber's in the hospital, and they are all back together again. Lupe won't talk to me about it, but I think Sirius feels guilty. I mean, he found you lying in a pool of blood." Marlene paused and stared expectantly at me. I looked blankly at her, and then realized that she was waiting for me to say something back.

"Merlin, Marlene, have some bloody tact. I highly doubt she wants to talk about how Sirius found her lying in a pool of her own blood after Mulciber Crucio'ed her into a broken spine." Alice said loudly, crossing her arms. Marlene rolled her eyes, not even the slightest bit embarrassed. I glanced gratefully at Alice, who nodded curtly in my general direction.

"Er, well, Alice is definitely correct in that sense, but I am a bit lost as to why Black refused to leave my bedside." I said hesitantly, looking about as though I was waiting for one of them to contribute.

"Probably just figured out another ingenious plan of getting out of classes." Alice shrugged carelessly.

My heart felt like it had been wrenched in half and I really wasn't sure why. Yes, Sirius Black was attractive. No, he was bloody gorgeous. And I had certainly harbored a secret little crush on him, but who doesn't? Why did it feel like seeing Benjy and bloody Dorcas shagging in the library all over again when I realized that I was just another excuse to get out of class?

"C'mon, now, Mary, its time for the feast. I'm positive the cup's ours this year; after Mulciber's little stunt, Slytherin was done for, and they are always our best competition." Lily said brightly, shepherding all of us out the door and down to the Great Hall.

I found myself seated with the Marauders and my dorm mates, squeezed in between a surly Alice and Sirius Black, who kept stealing looks at me. Probably trying to figure out if I realized what he had been doing in the hospital wing. Dolt. The Hall is decorated in red and gold, and the Marauders have managed to somehow charm scarlet and gold party hats with miniature roaring lions onto everyone's head. I scratch at the elastic rope around my chin, trying to enjoy my Yorkshire pudding. I glance at Potter, as he has been looking shiftier and shiftier all night, spending his meal stealing glances at Lily. Finally, as dessert appears, he opens his mouth.

"Well, as some of you may know, my dear cousin Mathilda is getting married this summer to Gideon Prewett. You all remember her; she was Head Girl in our second year. Absolutely smashing girl. They were supposed to get married somewhere in Wales, but mum sent me a letter saying the venue fell through, and she's offered up our house in the South of France." He paused, glancing again at Lily.

I've got to hand it to Potter. He's an absolute genius. Even I know Lily's obsessed with France- I'd have to be blind not to notice it. She's got posters of the Eiffel Tower and that Arc thing all over the wall in the dorm, wears a beret at every opportunity, has been taking a corrospodence course in French ever since I can remember, and devours macaroons by the kilo. Plus, Lily worshipped at the altar of Mathilda Everely.

"Because its at our place, Mattie said I can invite whoever I want to the wedding. Its absolutely stunning, the place. Right on the ocean, near the cutest little village, which is actually the only all Magical residential area in all of France. Absolute loads of historical sites, just piles and piles." James paused again, stealing a look at Lily's bizarre facial expression.

Lily can see it coming from a mile away; we all can. But what's really killing her is trying to muster up the courage to say no. She's practically drooling, and her eyes are all dazed, probably imagining herself prancing around a French Hogsmeade wearing a little hat and carrying bags of baguettes.

And then he seals the deal with a stroke of brilliance even I marvel at.

"We also live right next to what's called the best bakery in France, and my mum's friends with the pastry chef. He brings over fresh macaroons every morning." James smiled smugly.

Lily was practically tearing up.

"Pads will be there, and so with Alice and Florean, and I've already forced Moony and Wormy here into saying yes. So- Marlene? Lily? Interested?" James said as smoothly as possible. Alice and Florean's mother had apparently been James' mum's best friend at Hogwarts, and they were often invited to spend the summer holidays at the Potters' various residences.

"And Mary, of course." He added hurriedly, making me blush and try to awkwardly turn it down without attracting too much attention to myself.

If I had looked a few inches down and to my right just seconds before, I would have seen Sirius fiercely elbow James, and have watched James wince and add my name as well, but I was too busy ogling Lily.

"Of course I will, Jamie. Wouldn't miss it for the world!" Marlene declared brightly.

"I-I-III… would lo-v…e too." Lily forced out, looking as though her heart very much wanted to say yes, but her brain was fiercely fighting her. After a few moments of hiding our chuckles at James silent celebration and Lily's look of pain, the attention turned to me.

"C'mon then, Mary, you can't very well be the only one to say no." James prodded, looking as though he had just won box seats to the Quidditch World Cup.

"Er… why not?" I stammered weakly, praying that they would all forget

I was ever here anyway.

The rest of the meal passed with cheery discussions of our apparent group holiday in France, chiefly with Marlene and Lily frantically discussing wardrobe options for the wedding.

I rose in a trance out of my seat when the feast was over, swept along in a crowd of Gryffindors crowing their victory. Our victory, I thought to myself sleepily.

"Oh, Mary! Thank Merlin you're alright! I came to visit you in the hospital wing this afternoon, but they said you were gone!" I turned, in shock, to face Dorcas Meadowes. Her innocent blue eyes twinkled back at me. Her arms were stretched out in a hug toward me.

_Has she gone around the bend? Dorcas Meadowes has reached a new level of narcissism if she really thinks I don't mind that I found her shagging my boyfriend. Agrippa help me- she's got no clue. They never saw me. She thinks she's gotten away scot-free. _

In that moment it was like my brain had turned to mush and all I could think about was my wand.

"_Tarantallegra! Furnunculus! Langlock! Oppungo! Mimble Wimble! Petrificus Totalus_!" I screamed shrilly, watching with perverse joy as Dorcas fell to the ground in a disturbing state. I grinned evilly from above her, staring down at her wild eyes in her frozen state and the little bat wings fluttering on her face. I turned to walk away, shoving my way through the silent and stunned crowd that had come to watch a famed friendship crumble, but paused when I heard the telltale sounds of Professor McGonagall's furious voice. Assuming she was looking for me, I turned back wearily and headed towards the large congregation of people.

"Black! Of all the things you have done over the years, I have never seen you attack someone from behind without a clue! And no one seems to have any clue why you attacked Mr. Fenwick! I am appalled!" She screamed at a mulish looking Sirius. I stared in shock at the moaning form of my former, or I suppose, still boyfriend. He was clutching at his face, trying to mop up the blood. I glanced at Sirius, who gave me a subtle wink that sent my heart racing. I grinned back, surprised at the elation that was coursing through my veins.

"Merlins Beard! What in the world has happened to Miss Meadowes?" McGonagall's exclamation jerked me back to earth. The crowd had parted, revealing Dorcas' prone form.

"Mary MacDonald did it, Professor." I heard Carina Edgecombe screech. I rolled my eyes, not surprised that it was bloody Carina who spilled. She had always wanted to be Dorcas' best mate, and I was clearly about to be out of the picture.

"Miss MacDonald? Is this true?" She turned to me, her icy eyes staring me down. I thought I caught a glimpse of something that looked like a ghost of a smile, but it vanished behind her cold façade before I could truly tell.

"Yes, Professor. As much as I agree that I need to be punished for my crime, the House Cup has already been awarded, and there are no more points in this school year." I said, surprising the crowd and myself with my cheekiness. McGonagall looked at me, mouth gaping.

"You are correct in that reasoning, Miss MacDonald. " She said softer, her eyes showing a glimmer of a smile again.

"Now, everyone up to bed immediately. You too, Fenwick- go to the hospital wing if you must, but I am quite sure you can manage to get yourself there just fine. Miss Edgecombe, since you seem so concerned about Miss Meadowes, I suggest that you bring her to the hospital wing. I suggest a nice Hover Charm." She said crisply and swept out of the room.

"Oi! Fenwick!" I called across the emptying hall, with only the Marauders and my dorm mates remaining behind.

"We're done." I shouted gleefully, smiling brightly at his facial expression as he clung to his nose.

I spent the rest of the night and the trip back to London in a state of happy delirium, marveling at McGonagall's behavior and the fact that the person who had been my best friend for my entire Hogwarts career was no longer part of my life. I played several games of Exploding Snap with Marlene, who I liked very much. Alice made sly commentary from the side about various members of Gryffindor Tower, several of which made me burst out laughing. We took swigs from Sirius' flask of Firewhisky, giggling wildly as Lily took her first sip, coughing and spluttering for several minutes after.

I was purchasing a large pile of Chocolate Frogs to share with Lily, Alice and Marlene when I heard the voice I was trying to forget.

"Mary, may I speak with you for a moment?" Dorcas' honey sweet voice asked me in the politest tone possible. I glanced at her, discouraged to see that her face was back to normal, her skin glowing from within. She was dressed in a pair of denim wide leg trousers and a peasant blouse, her feathered hair held back in a tortoiseshell clip her mother had given to her for Easter.

"Err… I suppose." I muttered awkwardly, throwing down a pile of Sickles and grabbing my chocolate.

"Mary, I am at complete loss as to why you jinxed me from here to Stonehenge last night. Carina reported that some Gryffindor meathead also attacked Benjy." She said in her lilting, musical voice.

"Dorcas, I saw you and Benjy shagging in the library. And I suspect you wanted me to find out, since you invited me to meet you there to study for our Charms exam. I've always been waiting for the other shoe to drop with you, but I never expected you would be so jealous that I was important to someone apart from you that you would shag them. I imagine Amos would be quite put out, no? I suspect that your lovely little arrangement to get married and move into the family manor after graduation would fall through, dear. We are done, Dorcas. Come near me again, and I won't be so nice." I said curtly, grinning evilly at her stunned expression.

I was free. No more Dorcas, no more idiotic conversations about random Hufflepuffs, no more being just the comedic relief. I wasn't Dorcas and Mary. I was just ordinary Mary MacDonald, and I doubt I've ever been this happy.


	3. Chapter 3

Unfortunately, the first few weeks of my summer vacation did not pass as the train ride and last few hours at Hogwarts had. The actuality of Mulciber's attack and our court date loomed above me, often resulting in me waking up in the middle of the night sobbing into my pillow. I was completely alone.

Once upon a time, the MacDonalds had been the idyllic little family. My father was a very successful businessman who had recently been knighted by the Queen, and my mother was the youngest daughter of Lord Everett, and had been a member of the London social scene since she was eighteen. At first, I was beloved. I was the apple of our family's eye, named after my mother's mother, Mary Margaret, who was known for her philanthropy work. I was adorable, smart, and had all the makings to catapult my family into dukedom, or another desirable match. I was close with my younger brother, Mac, or John Rupert MacDonald VI, who was a mere ten months younger than me. That all changed on my birthday, August 12th, when an owl flew in through an open window in the study, and dropped an envelope down on my plate in the middle of my birthday luncheon.

At first, my parents were horrified, and forbade me to attend. I wasn't too fussed; I thought it was all a bit of a joke. But Dumbledore showed up a few days later and told my parents how dangerous it was to suppress my magical ability, and made it sound like I would explode from within in the middle of Christmas dinner, so my parents made up an elaborate story about my severe learning disability and my need to attend a school devoting to solving such things in Australia. Life went back to as normal as possible, but my parents avoided me. I was no longer the perfect child, and Mac had stepped up willingly to take on that role. But it got worse. My youngest brother, Cy, or Cyril Everett MacDonald, blew up his teacher at the local primary school after she told him he was being naughty. Cy is going to be a first year at Hogwarts next year, and my parents seem to think that I've tricked him into it.

I spent my days writing a godawful novel and staring at the ceiling, dreading the moment when sleep overtook me. I had been surprised when Sirius wrote me a few days into break.

**Mary,**

** How's your break going? I've been locked up at my house, resisting the urge to turn my mother and brother into a pair of wombats. She says I can't go to the wedding at James', but I've got a plan. I fully expect to see you there; I think it's the 3****rd**** of August, right? I just wanted to let you know that I got a letter from the Wizamgot summoning me to appear on the 12****th**** of July for your court date. I talked to my uncle Alphard, who used to be a sitting member of the Wizamgot, and he said that you'd win with a house elf for a lawyer. Don't stress, Mary.**

** See you soon,**

** Sirius **

I had responded, trying to pretend that I was having the time of my life and that Mulciber's face wasn't tattooed to my eyelids every time I shut my eyes. I knew that the Black family was known for its high standard of blood status and for their lack of interest in their offspring, similar to the MacDonald's. They also were rumored to have Dark leanings.

_**Sirius-**_

_** Thanks for letting me know- I'm actually not that worried about the trial, although at this point,I'd prefer a house elf as a lawyer. Then they wouldn't constantly question me. I'm actually looking forward to the wedding, just to get out of here. This is sort of awkward, but I never got to thank you for beating up Fenwick. I owe you.**_

_** -Mary**_

_** Mare-**_

_** You're welcome. Your ex-boyfriend was a right arse, and I daresay his new nose looks a sight better. **_

_** -Sirius**_

__We spent the week up the court date exchanging short letters every day, each one sending a confusing thrill up my spine, especially when he started to refer to me as Mare. I took pleasure in burning the letters I got from Dorcas and Benjy, and tried to take joy in the fact that Sirius had to deal with his parents round the clock, while I only had then when they stopped by to pick up some family jewels for a party.

The morning of, I quietly and quickly dressed in a plain set of navy silk robes and put on the pearls I had borrowed from the family safe.I managed to escape the house before anyone else woke up. The city was still quiet, and everyone was too hungover from the night before to notice my strange outfit. I took a bumpy Knight Bus ride to the Leaky Cauldron, where I flooed into the Ministry. I tumbled out from one of the fireplaces, and was besieged by a few reporters that had heard that a Muggleborn was going to court against the esteemed and deep pocketed Mulciber family.

A few minutes before the trial started I headed down to the courtroom in silence. I dropped down onto the hard wooden bench in the stone corridor, my head in my hands.

_I would have to see Mulciber again. _

_I would have to go back over every single detail._

_I would have to watch Mulciber try to convince the court that he hadn't touched me. That he hadn't tortured me. That he hadn't used an Unforgivable on me. That he hadn't…_

"Mare?" I jerked out of my thoughts when I heard Sirius call my name. He was leaning on the wall opposite to me, looking extraordinarily handsome in a Muggle suit.

"Trying to piss off your mother?" I said softly, gesturing to his outfit. He nodded and let out a bark like laugh that made my stomach clench.

"Everyone's about to come down. Look, Mare, I promise everything will be just fine. You'll never have to see him again after this. He'll rot away in Azkaban." Sirius said firmly, grabbing my hand and hauling me to my feet. We entered the courtroom, pausing in front of the bench and table where my lawyer and I would sit. People were streaming through the door; the men and women in royal purple robes took their seats. He grabbed my hands and pulled me in tight, whispering in my ear.

"You've got this, Mare." And with that, he disappeared into the crowd.

The next two hours of opening remarks did not pass as well as my thrilling interaction with Sirius. I stared down at my hands for a majority of the time, refusing to look at Mulciber. I listened blindly to my lawyer and the Wizamgot question Sirius, Madame Pomfrey and a St. Mungo's Healer who had performed my spinal refusion and the regrowth of my lung.

"I call to the stand my final witness, Miss Mary Margaret MacDonald." My lawyer, Cole Paddington, voice boomed through the court, and I rose unsteadily on my feet and stumbled toward the hard backed wooden chair in the middle of the room, looking nervously at the chains draped in smooth coils on the floor.

"Miss MacDonald, what were you doing out of your dormitory so late at night?" a woman who I remembered vaguely being referred to as Madam Bones, asked me politely.

"I was upset… about something, and preferred to be out of my dormitory. Walking around helps me calm down." I replied softly, cringing when it seemed so much louder in the cavernous room.

"It says here in your statement that you were planning to head back to your dormitory when Mr. Mulciber attacked you. Is that correct?"

"Yes. He disarmed me, and I tried to run, but he hit me in the back with the Cruciatus Curse. I fell to the ground, and he continued to use the Cruciatus Curse. I don't know how long, but he stopped after a while and started talking to me. I don't remember all of it, but he called me a Mudblood. That's all I remember. He started to use Crucio again, and I passed out several times, and he revived me. Then he started talking about…" the courtroom was silent, everyone hanging onto every last word coming out my mouth. Not even the reporters were writing, their quill hands frozen comically in mid air. I brushed aside the tears that I hadn't realized were dripping down my cheeks. I avoided looking at Sirius, my lawyer or anyone apart from Madam Bones.

"Miss MacDonald, do you need a few moments to compose yourself?" she asked softly, leaning forward slightly and looking down at me.

"No." I replied firmly.

"Very well. Miss MacDonald, it says in the statement you prepared and Mr. Black's eyewitness account that…the accused climbed onto of you. Is that true?" she asked again, silencing the courtroom with a flick of her wand. It was just she and I, her dark, sympathic eyes drilling into mine. I let out a dry sob, staring down at my hands. I glanced up when she cleared her throat, but I caught Sirius' eye. He was staring at me, his features arranged in a determined gaze, his lips moving soundlessly. I blinked and swallowed, clearing my mind.

"Yes." I said firmly, smiling slightly as Sirius closed his eyes in relief.

"Mr. Black claims that he discovered you lying in a pool of your own blood, and rushed you to the Hospital Wing. A team of Emergency Healers arrived and diagnosed you with two broken legs, a punctured lung that had to be regrown, a broken spine, severe damage to your liver, both shoulders dislocated, and a majority of your ribs were broken. The healer in charge of your case also noted that being under the Cruciatus Curse for that long of a time can cause severe brain damage. Is that correct?" She asked, her voice shaking slightly. I nodded blindly, relieved that the hardest part of was over.

"Thank you, Miss MacDonald. You may return to your seat." I shakily made my way back to my seat, not even noticing Cole pat my arm assuredly. I spent the remainder of the trial staring at the floor, not hearing Mulciber's defense.

I found myself focusing on my supposed trip to the South of France with James and everyone else. I had expected to be dreading it, but all I could feel was a longing to be away from everything here, and surrounded by new people. Cole finally prodded me when the court reappeared to vote.

"Those in favor of finding the accused guilty and sending him to serve a 3 year sentence in Azkaban, please raise your wands.'' Madame Bones' voice boomed through the room. I stared at them, ready to see my horror story end and watch Mulciber be escorted to Azkaban.

Instead, I watched in disbelief and in horror as only a dozen wands were raised. I just stared, ignoring the muttered panic of Cole next to me, and the shouts of fury from behind me that I assumed belonged to Sirius.

_I had lost._

_He was going to be free._

_I had lost._

"Those in favor of… clearing the accused of all charges, and allowing him to return to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?" Madame Bones voice shook with incredulity. A majority of the Wizamgot wands flew into the air, a few sending sparks of celebratory gold into the air.

A hollow scream filled the air, one that was so rife with fury it seemed to shake the very courtroom. I sat there and watched as Mulciber walked out of the courtroom. I watched as Dumbledore flew out of his seat, McGonagall next to him, their faces irate. The scream had subsided into unearthly sobbing, and I just sat there.

"Mary. Mary. Mare. Mare, I got you. Its ok, its ok." Someone's arms were wrapped around me tightly, whispering in my ear. I let out a sigh of relief when the scream stopped, but then I realized that the screaming had been coming from me. I rocked back and forth, tears pouring down my face.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE! PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!" I heard myself scream. Then everything went black, all over again.

"Mary, honey? Mary? There you are. Welcome back!" a woman's voice jolted me awake. A woman with thick black hair that was cut in a trendy pixie cut, olive skin, and hazel eyes that looked eerily familiar was sitting next to my bedside. I smiled weakly at her, scrambling to sit up.

"Hullo, dear. I'm Dorea Potter, James' mum. Please call me Dorie, though. Everyone does." She said cheerily. I nodded, looking around the room. I was in a beautiful bedroom, complete with tasteful, clearly expensive decorations and a large fireplace.

"You're at our house in France, Jamie said he mentioned it at school. I've owled your mother, and she has agreed that you should stay here for the remainder of the summer. She's sent along your trunk." Dorie said smoothly, but her voice seemed hard and angry with the last few words.

"Sirius brought you here yesterday, apparated right from London. I revived you to make sure that everything was alright, and then I gave you a large dose of Dreamless Sleep Potion and you slept most of the night and the day away." She continued warmly.

"Thank you so much, Mrs. Potter." I croaked.

"Oh, please, call me Dorie. I insist."

"Alright. Dorie, can I see Sirius? I just want to talk to him quickly." I asked quietly, not meeting her eye. I stared at my trunk that was sitting next to the fireplace.

"Sirius stepped out for a bit, but he'll be back in a jiffy. Marlene's here, though, and I know she would love to see you!" Dorie said brightly, rising and standing at the door.

"I'll be along in a moment, I just want to change. Thank you again for everything you've done." I said warmly, smiling at her as she exited the room.

Merlin, what was I doing here? I shrugged away the memories of the courtroom that had come flooding back to me. Sirius had brought me here, instead of finding my mother or father.

Feeling much better at that prospect, I rose and dress quickly in a light floral dress that I bought to piss my mother off, and ran a brush through my hair. I exited my room, and was stunned. The Potter's house was beautiful. My room was right off of a massive living space, with two fireplaces and several window seats, sofas, and cozy armchairs. I could see straight into the French country style kitchen, and the view out of the windows showed that the house was right by the ocean, with a set of stairs leading down to the beach, and a pool on the lawn.

"Mary!" Marlene called from her perch outside, waving enthusiastically. She was dressed in a lemon crocheted two piece bathing suit, with a oversized men's white oxford that I suspected belonged to Remus over it, and her wild curls restrained by a pair of round tortoise sunglasses pushed back onto of her head. She was holding a tall glass of lemonade in one hand and what looked like a battered romance novel in the other.

"Thank Merlin you're awake! I've been just dying of boredom here. The boys disappeared somewhere today, and I suspect they've gone on a Marauder bar crawl. Dorie just left again for St. Mungos, and Charlie's been gone since early this morning. Alice is still on Frank's belated round the world graduation trip, and who knows where Florean is. I've owled Lily and convinced her to come early, so she'll be here tomorrow. Well? Don't just stand there gaping at me!" Marlene finished crossly. With a wave of her wand, she changed my dress into a bathing suit identical to hers but in a bubble gum pink color. I grinned at her, and settled myself down on the lounge chair next to her.

"So, Mary, James tells me that you are quite the dueler. Apparently you absolutely flattened some girl on the last night at school?"

I gaped with embarrassment at Mr. Potter, or Charlie, who was seated across from me. Although James had inherited his coloring from his mother, he had inherited his father's bone structure. Mr. Potter was tall and lean, with chiseled cheekbones, a square jaw, dark brown hair and green eyes. A thick pair of glasses completed his look. Marlene and I were seated with the Potters on their terrace, enjoying a dinner of fish and pasta, waiting for the boys to come back from their "pub crawl."

"Er…"

"Charlie, you should have seen it! The girl was halfway across the room in under two seconds—did even get a chance to pull her wand! And it was a Meadowes, and you know how good that family is at dueling!" Marlene interjected brightly. Charlus Potter chuckled and grinned endearingly at me. I smiled back, trying not to feel incredibly jealous of James Potter and his fabulous house and parents.

Marlene and I were clearing the dessert dishes when the door to the kitchen banged open with a crash, and James, Remus and Peter were standing in the doorframe.

"Ello, ladies!" James said with a touch of slurred speech, the smell of Firewhisky practically billowing off his clothes. Remus staggered in behind him and headed towards Marlene, while Pete had slumped over against the wall.

"Err… Mary, Sissius ishh looking for you." James stammered at me before almost falling into the fireplace. Marlene, laughing, hustled the boys out of the room and into a back hall, and I followed. Marlene deposited each of them in their personal bedrooms (did I mention the Potters' had about a dozen guest rooms?). She nodded towards the door at the end of the hallway before following Remus into his room. I swallowed my nerves, and knocked on the door.

"Sirius?" I asked hesitantly as I pushed the door open. He was sitting on his bed, drinking from his silver monogrammed flask. He grinned up at me, rising from the bed. He grabbed me into a hug, the smell of Firewhisky smelling much more appetizing coming from him than it did from James. We broke apart, and I tried to get around him, but somehow, we ended up with our faces two inches apart, with me staring awkwardly into his obsidian eyes.

He kissed me.


End file.
